I See You, Nurse – a poem by Connor Bond

Sometimes another human can put words into form that capture your own feelings and views better than you can articulate yourself. Connor Bond (@Trauma_Mouse), Scottish Emergency and Critical Care nurse working in central London did just that with his poem “I See You, Nurse”. Connor shared this on stage at DAS SMACC in Berlin after winning the SMACCSLAM poetry/spoken word competition. Although I’d heard Connor’s poem when judging the competition, I was floored when sitting behind him, watching and listening as he stepped to the centre of the round stage in the middle of the Tempodrom. This will be released via the SMACC podcast in due course, but for whatever reasons personal or otherwise, I feel like a lot of us could do to hear this now. Over to Connor…


“After moving from the North of Scotland two years ago, I’ve worked between an emergency department and critical care in central London. Nursing on the frontline in a capital city can present it’s own unique issues, but I truly believe that we canall find ourselves facing challenges derived from our health systems, patients or upon reflection internally.

I often find myself uncomfortable when adorned with the title of “Saint” or “Angel”; I do feel that this is my vocation, but I hardly float around my ICU with a halo in situ! As nurses we are incremental to the holistic patient experience and often responsible for interventions that will drastically improve outcomes – I shall always remain proud of that.” Connor Bond


 

I See You, Nurse

Remind me, why do I do this?
Why I chase the rush
of chaos, of drama
of resus & trauma

Why I’ve held distraught mothers
Cared for fathers
and leant by the bedside to explain to brothers,
why their sister simply won’t wake up after
I switch off infusions
and call out after her.

On the surface I’ll hold steady,
dry and stern
but I crack on the underground home.
I hold thankless floodgates in my hands
Staying strong for
another shift,
another patient,
another family looking to be shown
Improvement in those lines and trends that I’ll struggle to decipher to a devastated mother, who wants her baby home.

But we’ll still push and still go
Stretching resources, and ourselves.
I’m doubled with patients,
double strength pressors,
double pumping,
double shot espresso for that fourth night in a row.

And then the ward round comes
and I ask myself
have I done enough?
are these lines labelled, is my bedside straight?
but can we be too tough,
on one another
and ourselves?

They call nurses “Angels”,
but my wings are long singed
from holding too tight to Dear Nightingale’s lamp,
but I carry on because I will it,
and because i can,
Because I’ve seen eyes open after weeks without sedation,
while family rallies behind a young man with such determination
as he takes his first steps for the second time in his life.

We are not Saints
We are not Angels
I will never cause miracles at handover
But I’ll give them my mind,
my hands,
my words
until my best is enough, no more.

Podcast Ep. 8 – Slaying Headaches and Sharing Knowledge

This podcast was recorded live at a Metro North Hospital and Health Service Research Principles series. I was invited to speak on Using Social Media to Share Research Outcomes. As part of the session I invited Dr Erik Wood, Staff Specialist in Emergency Medicine at Redcliffe hospital to have a chat about his first clinical trial as PI. The recording was intentional left raw with minimal editing as the intent was to show how easy it is to use podcast as a medium to share your research.

The below flyer was used to raise awareness amongst the medical and nursing team in the ED.

Podcast Ep. 7 – O Captain! My Captain! – Leadership

Practice change limits the possibilities. We should aim for practice evolution.

It’s been a long time between episodes. I place all blame for this on Victoria Brazil and our Simulcast project. This return coincides with a refreshed and revised vision for Injectable Orange. Backed by a great, new editorial team, we will be tackling the issues that affect nursing. What better way to launch the professional issues series, than by interviewing SallyAnne Jones, a friend, mentor and president elect of the Australian Nursing and Midwifery Federation and the Queensland Nurses Union, leader in critical care nursing and true role model for our profession.

During the podcast Sally refers to the work of Daniel Goleman on emotional intelligence and leadership, encourages us to read and study broadly beyond the nursing literature and to make reflective practice and active pursuit that we schedule time for like any other leadership task. This is an interview that has already change my practice.

 


On to the podcast:

Podcast Ep. 6 – Reconciling Social Media With ‘Traditional’ Education

In this episode of the podcast I am once again joined by my friend, British Paediatrician, educationalist and philosopher, Dr Damian Roland (see his site Rolobot Rambles). As well as Damian, this episode gets an extra helping of awesome from Damian’s co-author, medical education rockstar, Emergency Physician, Associate Professor at Bond University, Dr Victoria Brazil. Damian and Victoria recently published a very interesting paper suggesting ten ways by which we may reconcile the groundswell of social media with ‘traditional’ medical education.

Top 10 ways to reconcile social media and ‘traditional’ education in emergency care

http://emj.bmj.com/content/early/2015/08/07/emermed-2015-205024.abstract

Both Damian and Victoria are passionate advocates for open access knowledge sharing and, as such, were very keen to translate the key messages via a FOAM platform. Below is also a visual accompaniment that Damian posted on Slideshare.

In the podcast I mentioned I would give a brief update on some projects that have been keeping me busy of late. There is a lot to get through, so instead I’ll keep it short here and write a separate post soon.

The first and most relevant to this podcast is the very exciting news of winning the Stanford Medicine X – Simpler Signals Research ChallengeI was very lucky to work with Damian, and Dr Daniel Cabrera on a research project in which we used the Symplur Signals analytics tool, to validate the Free Open Access Medical education (FOAM) community as a digital community of practice (dCOP). Damian will be presenting this at the Stanford Medicine X Conference on the 27th September this year.

“Defining digital communities of practice using a Netnographic framework for hashtag analytics”

As well as this research with Damain and Daniel, I have recently commenced in a new role as the Clinical Nurse Consultant in Intensive Care across two geographically split ICU pods, the Caboolture Redcliffe ICU (CRICU). It is very exciting to be back ‘at home’ in the Intensive Care.

INJECTABLE ORANGE PODCAST-2

Episode 6 – Reconciling Social Media With ‘Traditional’ Education (32.35)

 


Podcast Ep. 5 – Simulation Basics: Back to the Future

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In this episode we revisit a conversation I had with my good friend and fellow of the nursing brotherhood, Brian Ericson. Brian, a clinical lead emergency nurse, invited me to have a chat and brainstorm about some of the risks, benefits and logistics of getting a program of in situ simulation started in his work place. We got quite carried away and ended up with two podcast episodes. One year on and in the lead up to SMACC Chicago, where I will be working on two workshops, including ‘Leave the Sim Lab Behind: In Situ Simulation for Clinician Educators’, I asked Brian if I could remaster and re-release a trimmed down single episode version of our conversation. I am really keen to deliver a number of episodes dancing through some of the more nuanced topics in sim and wanted to start with a solid foundation of looking at the phases of a simulation teaching event and some of the benefits for the learner and the educator in using sim in the workplace. Quite frankly, I had used all my best material and it would have been a poor surrogate if I’d tried to record it myself, so hence we have the first erNURSEpro/Injectable Orange crossover effort.

 

erNURSEpro  http://www.ernursepro.com

INJECTABLE ORANGE PODCAST-2

Episode 5 – Simulation Basics: Back to the Future (37.10)

 

For more on Injectable Orange relating to Sim, follow this link – http://injectableorange.com/?s=simulation

Also be sure to check out these two brilliant offerings from the St. Emlyn’s team and one from Dr Tim Leeuwenburg at KI Doc:

1) Top Ten Tips for In Situ Sim at St. Emlyns (Blog and Podcast)

2) The SWEETest Sim – Real People, High Fidelity at #SWEETs15 (Blog)

3) Simulation Apps – Review (Blog)

 

If you are in the market for free awesome simulation resources, check out:

http://mobilesim.wordpress.com (Great site with loads of resources and scenarios from Dr Jon Gatward)

http://intensiveblog.com/resources/icu-sim/ (New and very slick offering of fully templated scenarios for ICU In Situ Sim from Dr Chris Nickson)